Edited from original By Tom Downward (www.favorideas.com)
Many web sites tell you to plan your wedding event 12 months to 18 months out. Great advice — for the the eighteenth century, maybe. But the reality’s a little different today, isn’t it?
2.3 million weddings will take place this year. And each one starts with a blush, some tears, announcements to your closest friends, an engagement party at the cute little bistro and the mailman’s congratulations upon spying your rock. And then, it’s time to get planning. If you’re like most couples, you’ll find yourself set on an event that takes place less than 365 days down the road.
“Six months,” said Pam White, a professional wedding planner in
“My father owned a flower shop for years. He used to take me there on Sundays to help at the flower arranging when I was very little. Even back then in the ‘dark ages,’ the normal time frame for weddings was six months. And still is.
“When I got older, Dad taught me to order the flowers and coordinate with other vendors for fabrics, foods, catering and other services.” She adds, “We really did most of the wedding planning in that little flower shop!” Why six months? “Some things require a little more time, but six months is just how long couples really want to spend.”
Perhaps you have the same question as one perplexed mother of the bride, who said, “We’re having the wedding in six months. That’s already been established, so what’s next? How do we get from here to there and stay sane?” You might share her distress, or you might have more lead time. But either way, rest assured that if you don’t want to wait 18 months to pull off your wedding, relax — you’re normal.
But to succeed, you’ll need two arrows in your quiver: some focused visualization sessions, and a pro planner who can help you translate those visions into reality with speed.
Planning a Wedding in Six Months’ Time
Out of all the weddings you’ll attend this year, only one is the most important — yours. And if you’re planning it in six months, your most important question is, “what do we want for our wedding?” Unlike the brides slogging it out for a year and a half, you’ll have to be super-focused from the start.
But what you want is a tricky question, isn’t it? As Mark Twain remarked, “I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.”
However New Agey it may sound, one of the most time-tested methods for discovering what you want is visualizing, a technique popularized by Maxwell Maltz, among others. More recent authors such as Win Wenger call it “Imaging.” Both authors describe methods that essentially give you a mental massage.
Sound spacey? It’s actually straightforward science, and the success of these methods has been verified by independent researchers worldwide. The point is, visualizing works. It works to bring your wedding dreams to life, and it works to create the most outstanding event you can dream of. Here’s how to do it.
Head into a quiet room, and get comfortable. Hang out the sign - “Do Not Disturb (Unless You’ve Got Money).” It’s time to start imagining your wedding day: all its sights, sounds, emotions and even scents.
Carpe Diem — In Your Dreams
Really put yourself — in full color, and wearing that Monique Lhuillier of your dreams — into that image. ‘Feel’ it in all its colorful detail. Are you looking down from a Tudor landing or digging your toes in the sand? Is it a sunny afternoon or an evening by candlelight? Are you sipping from a flute of Cristal, or lifting your arms to begin your first waltz? This kind of visual thinking comes easy for maybe 40% of us, which means that over half of us find it harder. But even if you’re in the second group, you’ll get it after two or three tries, so don’t be discouraged.
While you visualize, simply focus on just that one day. Not the prep phase. Not the honeymoon. After visualizing for 40 minutes or less, you’ll soon know why. Visualizing throws all that conventional wisdom about “daydreaming being a waste of time” out the window — it gets results. So ignore Mrs. Crabbitz from third grade and dream away.
Are you still visualizing? Focused on the big day? In a quiet room with the sign out? Good!
Moving Back in Time
Now mentally, back up just one month. It’s four weeks before your wedding day — twenty-eight days beforehand. What preparations are you making? What tasks still remain on the “To Do” list?
If your task list is still miles long a month before your wedding, the countdown to your big day can become a frenzied bottleneck. Trying to stuff too many details into the final weeks, days and hours won’t work. But because you took the time to visualize at the start, what for some can be a day of frustrated expectations is sure to be smooth sailing for you.
An Imaginary Task List
Now let’s work backwards, to the very start. Count back one month before the big day, two … five, six … today, in fact. We’re going to imagine your short list of tasks to accomplish over the next six months. This isn’t a “to do” list — you’ve got your wedding planner and software for that. This is a “to imagine” list that starts from the day itself, and works backward. Print this out as a guideline, and get visualizing.
Starting from the Big Day and working backward, imagine that you …
Arrange for your hair and makeup, finalize your seating chart, gather your jewelry and accessories and prepare to shine.
Write your vows, send out the invites, have your final fitting, and gather all legal documents such as a marriage license.
Choose a brilliant photographer, arrange for transportation, select your menu and wine list, finalize your guest list and order your invitations, wedding rings, wedding cake and favors.
Create your gift registries, book the entertainment, decide on bridesmaid dresses, and start your honeymoon arrangements.
Work out your budget, begin the guest list, find an officiant, and select your attendants.
Discover and order the wedding gown of your dreams.
Pick a date, book your venue, decide on a theme, and hire your wedding planner.
After visualizing for forty minutes or an hour, you’ll start to get the big picture. Your wedding planner will help you divide each job into smaller ones later. Take notes on the things you “see.” Write everything down, but don’t call your planner just yet.
Congratulations!
Good work! You’ve enjoyed a rare preview of your own wedding day … and the many roads and tasks that led to it. Now it’s time to make three decisions, a process made easier by your visualization work. With your thoughts in order, you’ll find it far easier to:
1. Nail down your budget,
2. Select a wedding theme, and
3. Set the date.
Dreams into Reality
At last, it’s time to call in your wedding planner. What to expect from her? Oh, we’ll get to that in a minute. But before you do, take a moment to reflect on the fact that three monumental decisions — ones that seemed nigh insurmountable forty minutes ago — come pretty easily now. You’ve got a better handle on these things, and you can bet you’ll find that useful later on.
Now pick up the phone, and call her. She’ll help you break down and accomplish big tasks, such as:
- Outlining a budget,
- Settling on a wedding theme, whether traditional or casual, sporty or tropical, extended or even “surprise,”
- Picking the perfect venue to support your overall vision,
- and choosing the vendors that suit your personal style — without turning the process into a full-time job.
It’s time to roll up your sleeves and start shaping your wedding reality. Set the date and time, draw up a guest list, and place an announcement in the paper. Chat up your short list of caterers, DJs, florist and photographers. Rely on your wedding planner for insider info on creative venues and stylish yet reliable service providers. Now that you’ve got a picture in your head, you’ll be able to answer her questions — and she’ll be able to answer your questions too. What’s more, you’ll find your planner essential to smoothing the waters between bride and groom, and the occasional fearsome mother (or mother-in-law).
But a word to the wise: when marrying on short notice, keep a planner’s typical schedule in mind. Consultants work some exhausting hours during the warm months, with one-third of all marriages taking place during November and December.
Final Tips for a Beautiful Relationship Between You and Your Planner
A wedding planner can work within any budget and still help you get the most for your money. The budget is a crucial element to peace of mind … and for most planners, establishing it will be your first task together, as well as the thread that ties everything together.
Along with the budgetary reality is the fact that weddings are elaborately staged events. And sometimes, things go wrong. Chances are, at least one vendor in your wedding will give rise to some kind of crisis. Happily for you, you have an experienced planner to set things right, often before the issue even hits you.
Remember, the planner is on your side. A full-time pro isn’t motivated by “kickbacks.” It’s her business … her lifeline. If she pleases you, the client, she’ll see consistent business growth. She relies on your satisfaction. Now you know!
Get Time on Your Side
People today want ever-more elaborate weddings, with the average cost edging upwards toward RM 30,000. Dual-income couples, often established in their careers and enjoying large lines of credit, can afford an opulent affair more than ever before.
But today’s couples don’t have time to invest the 250 hours it takes to plan a wedding– the more so, when the big day’s in six months or less. That’s where your planner comes in. If you’re planning on an elaborate event with a healthy guest list in a relatively short time frame, a pro at your side is a must. Let’s get started. You’ve got a wedding to attend — yours!
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